Thoughts and Experiences

2012-02-08T04:16:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I ruuun!
Sometimes I hide!
Sometimes I'm scared of youuu..
But all I really want is to hold you tiiight!
Treat you right,
Be with you day and niiight! :)
:D

Hihi! Dear God Have mercy on us. Huhuh. I really hope it's not yet the end of the world. :/

12/30

2010-12-30T07:07:00.000-08:00

Seems that someone is following me privately. :(
And I don't like it.
I'm not that into anonymity.
Hope everyone had a great year!
Let's reflect and see what we need to change in ourselves.
Have a happy happy new year!

12:26 AM May 12, 2010

2010-05-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

Things I'm thankful for today.

First and foremost, I’m thankful to and for the Lord God Almighty, for always being there and for showering me with blessing. Amen!

And then the following, in no particular order okay.

2. Food (from breakfast to midnight snacks :D) —>reason why I get fat. HAHA!

3. Papa

4. Sis

5. IRM/ Youth Camp

6. Internet

7. Air-con at night

8. Clean water

9. Cold water

10. Ice (What? I know they are all the same, but I’m really thankful for each form!)

11. Farmers (who make it possible for me to have rice, fruits and other food on my table)

12. Songs like Power of Your Love, Take Me out of The Dark, Lead Me Lord, We Are The Reason

13. My faith

14. Friends like Richard, who introduced me to the IRM community,

15. Laica, for making receiving me warmly to their family

16. her sister Ceska, for being so funny and nice

17. her brother PJ, my badminton buddy who keeps up with me heehee!

18. Fan

19. Electricity

20. Computer

21. Our bed

22. Our house

23. Being enrolled in a good school

24. Decent clothes

25. Music

26. Heart

27. Ability to see

28. Ability to hear \m/

29. Ability to feel

30. Ability to taste yummy food!

31. Ability to eat haha!

32. Ability to smell those food (puro food ah! And flowers, perfumes, blahblah.. :D)

33. Formspring friends like *some text missing*,

34. *some text missing*

35. *some text missing*

36. *some text missing* (I’d rather not tell their names :D)

37. Ability to read

38. Ability to write

39. Ability to think

40. My guardian angel

41. Books

42. Pens

43. Notebook/pieces of paper

44. Ref

45. Bags

46. Bible verses

47. TV

48. Chairs

49. Light

50. Sun

51. Stars (the sky last night was unbelievable! So many bright stars!)

52. Over-all health

53. Fishermen

54. Jeepney drivers

55. LRT/MRT operators

56. Strangers who are nice to me or to anybody else

57. Nica, for making me smile effortlessly

58. Laica’s mom, for letting me eat at their house and letting me taste her delicious whatever-it-is that she’s making

59. MILO! (chocolate drink)

60. Coffee

61. Sugar

62. Plates

63. Forks

64. Spoons

65. Glasses!

66. Stove

67. Gas

68. Sandy!

Waaaaaaaaaah! I can’t think of any anymore! Head hurts.

What about you? what are you thankful for? :D

I just hope we appreciate every little thing we have.

4-18-10, 12:18PM, Sunday

2010-04-17T21:18:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit distracted. My sister's watching Nickelodeon's Big Time Rush.

I was exceptionally down yesterday.
Sigh.
I guess you should know some things about me.

I'm sensitive.
I'm not the best person in the world.
I'm moody.
If I don't feel like I'm important to someone, I dunno. I kinda tend to 'make some space' between us, if you know what I mean.
But I'm not that bad either.
Haha.
You just have to get used to me.

When I woke up yesterday, I was smiling.
Haha. :D
Some seconds after I realize that I WAS smiling, but sis, who was rushing to get some things (she was to go to somewhere with her parents), noticed that I was smiling.
She said, "Uy, nakangiti siya." Or was it, "Bakit ka nakangiti?" ("Uy, she's smiling." & "Why are you smiling?")
Haha!

I don't know what's with this guy.
Me and some friends of mine who I met online were just talking about him earlier that day. Oh, technically, it's the day before he talked to me. Aww. Kinda confusing right? Haha.

Say today's April 1.
During the afternoon, my friends and I were talking about him.
Then it's already night, and I'm still awake. Hihi. And online.
Then it's dawn, like 2 in the morning.
Then he talked to me.
Okay, now you get it? :D

My sis is getting her second serving of rice. Teehee. That's why she's getting fat eh. Kidding.

Back to the guy.
It's as if he knew we were talking about him! What the -! I should be careful. He must've seen what I wrote about him on my formspring page. Hihi. But deleted it already, so all's good.. for now.

He's the only one who can do that to me.
I mean, usually after chatting with him, I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face.
Maybe he's just exerting a good vibe, and he's transferring that vibe to me. :D

4-11-10 12:44 AM

2010-04-10T09:38:00.000-07:00

One day, two girls became seatmates.
Then they became friends.
Eventually they became good friends..
Then close friends..
Then best friends..
And now they ex-best friends.
Two souls who just wanted to forget about everything they've gone through together.

Sad isn't it?
I know.
I feel like crying.
It's like everything's falling apart.
The wife of my father, the ex-bestie, and now another ex-bestie (We were trios.)

Sandy, I went to your page. I didn't find what you said I would. Hehe. No worries, though. I try to pray for those in need of prayers every time I pray. :D

I think I should.. find someone who's problems are greater than mine.
Hehe.
So I won't be consumed by all these negative feelings I'm feeling.

4-6-10, 11:02

2010-04-06T08:01:00.000-07:00

I'm devastated.

My best friend for three years (I met her when we were in second year and we became really close since then) had chosen her pride over our friendship. Had I known that this would happen.. sigh. All those times we laughed out so loudly together, read pocketbooks, shared thoughts & dreams, made plans for the future in which the other was always included), ate here at our house, helped each other, cooked, had fun, went to mall, talked endlessly, wrote stories.. they're all gonna go to waste.

Oh and please pray for Ina and her family. They had a car accident last Sunday and her mom and younger sis would have to undergo operation. Please, please, please do pray for them. It'd mean a lot. Thanks!

2-26-10, 8:47 pm

2010-02-26T04:47:00.000-08:00

Something that happened today made me want my dad's wife not to be my mom.

Sigh.
I need prayers.
Thanks.

I'm just so tired with all of these things that's happening.

2-7-10, 1:38 am

2010-02-06T09:48:00.001-08:00

If you wana have a long lasting friendship, you should at least make an effort to reach out to your friend and become interested with whatever it is that he brings up during your convo, especially when you rarely get a chance to talk and he’s living in a land so far far away.

————————————————————————————————————————-

Friendship is important to me, but I won’t ever shove myself to somebody who tells me I’m annoying and that I should change and who tells me he’s not interested with whatever it was that I was saying and who doesn’t make me feel that I’m important to him as a friend. He shouldn’t have talked to me in the first place if he’s gonna act like that. I didn’t force myself to him; he was the one who approached me first. Why approach somebody if you don’t wanna talk to him/her pala?

Maybe we are not really meant to be friends.

I guess this is a goodbye to our friendship.

5 mins to 7 pm, Jan 7

2010-01-07T02:56:00.001-08:00

Hehehe.
I hope that this would be a good year for everybody!

Does God exist?

2009-11-20T04:42:00.000-08:00

Did God create everything that exists? Does evil exist? Did God create evil?

A University professor at a well known institution of higher learning challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?"

A student bravely replied, "Yes he did!"

"God created everything?" The professor asked.

"Yes sir, he certainly did," the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything; then God created evil. And, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then we can assume God is evil."

The student became quiet and did not answer the professor's hypothetical definition. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "May I ask you a question, professor?"

"Of course", replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"

"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?"

The other students snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460 F) is the total absence of heat; and all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat."

The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact, we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color.

You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily examples of man's Inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

The young man's name - Albert Einstein (but according to some, Einstein was not really involved in this situation/conversation).

http://www.religioustolerance.org/culeins.htm

11/20 8:30 pm

2009-11-20T04:21:00.000-08:00

Today we practiced dancing waltz in heels. My abuela (a.k.a lola in Tagalog, grandma in English) accidentally stepped on my toes! The song we used for the dance is entitled Can I Have This Dance taken from High School Musical 3.

We didn't do much today. Only one teacher managed to enter our classroom and give us something to do. Some of my classmates were absent either because 1.) they were competing against the other schools, or 2.) they went to Pup to pass their application form and then went to see New Moon.

I dunno what's happening to me. I don't feel comfortable around a certain guy. His eyes and mine seem to meet always. I don't know if he is just really naughty or flirty with the other girls who are my friends too or if he's making moves to make me notice him.

And then there's this other guy. He keeps on telling me that his friend has a crush on me. He even told me that I told him that I have a crush on his friend. His friend, on the other hand, told me months ago that that guy has a crush on me. I don't know what to think, especially since I know that I'm not that pretty.

I seem to look at this fourth guy often. When I look at him, it's either he was also looking at me or he would suddenly look at my direction, and he'd caught me looking at him (accidentally, okay?). Waaahh! What am I gonna do? He might think that I have a crush on him, but I don't really.

Tomorrow my groupmates and I are gonna shoot some scenes for our movie. Yay! Hopefully I can watch New Moon tomorrow. My sis is gonna watch it tomorrow too with her friends.

11/11 Exam day

2009-11-11T03:58:00.000-08:00

We had only two exams for today so we were dismissed earlier than usual. We had a shooting for our our project i on of our subjects ( a film or movie). It was so much fun especially because of the persons i was with. :) My group mates were great actors. I can't say the same for myself (we had to take and retake a single scene for an hour!) .I am a good camera woman, though.

I think I'm beginning to see someone as more than a friend now. HAHA!

10/4 3:30am

2009-10-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

I have read so many blogs today. Can't get enough of brilliant pics and cute little children and interesting stories. Hope. I'd have my own cam so I can take pics too and make my blog a lil bit more interesting. hehe. Joke. Should really sleep now but I remembered something.

When finally I was nearing my complete recovery from a heart ache, this guy Q just 'appeared' once more in my life. What am i gonna do with you, huh?

Anyways, two days before today, I met a guy from Greece. I just met him online. He asked me about my love life. I was kinda getting suspicious because it's like he was really interested with my feelings for Q. Hmm, I hope that guy doesn't really know Q, or else...

Prayer Badly Needed

2009-09-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

The Rain Ondoy has left the Philippines devastated. Many were left homeless and hungry because of it. Please include the Filipinos in your prayer. And if you are willing to help in other ways, please contact me. Thank you very much. It means a lot.

8/18 Friday, 10:30 pm

2009-09-18T07:32:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my sister's birthday! I wish her the best (hehe! joke!)

Lately I have been fond of reading and telling jokes to other people. Jokes make me feel so light and carefree; moreover, jokes make me look younger.

I know that I should just read the Bible rather than read jokes. As much as i want to, i don't, for the simple reason that I know it will make me talk to my sister's mom again(she's my mom too, but sometimes I wanna think that she isn't my real mom, and that my real mom is just somewhere out there), and I don't want that to happen because I'm really angry with her.

Have a nice weekend everyone :)

8/19 Wed 7:30pm

2009-08-19T04:35:00.000-07:00

The mother of my biological sister wants us to get out of the house.

Last summer, I had already packed my things and had decided to do so (with her command), but my father didn't let me. She has the nerve to tell it to me again! I have never dreamed of staying here a moment longer! She doesn't have to ask me to leave this house; I'm more than willing (and would be very glad too!) to. Now if there's only a place I could go to and a work that could pay me well....

8/9 pm Sunday i love love

2009-08-09T02:31:00.000-07:00

i was watching a movie entitled Wedding Daze awhile ago, and it was the theme song.

i should be reviewing for my exams today.. hehe.

my aunt said that we should move into a bigger house and i agreed. my dad said he didnt expect that we'd grow raw. LOLZ whatever dad!

'honesty is such a lonely word.. everyone is so untrue.'

i agree. :( im really pissed with a girl classmate K. hmmp!!

8/9 Smile, Grin, Laugh!

2009-08-09T02:15:00.000-07:00

Feel miserable? Laugh! :))

i was really down today, and i came across an article with that line. isnt life wonderful?? hehe! it really lifted my spirits up.

8/2

2009-08-02T02:03:00.000-07:00

why did he have to be a flirt? is it natural to him or is he finally making a move?

waahh!!

goodluck to me.

7/20 3pm

2009-07-18T00:07:00.000-07:00

classes were suspended yesterday.
the day before yesterday, i wrote on my diary that if he doesnt talk to me later that day then i will give up on him. and surprisingly, he did!! he talked to me. it was like just a chat for i said goodbye to him after he told me that he was just chatting with me and with a mutual friend. i would like to have an early night.

yesterday he was online but he didnt speak to me. maybe he is upset with what i did. actually yesterday when i woke up, i told myself that i was over him. the spark was gone due to long absence of communication. but after about 5 minutes, i was thinking that i still have feelings for him. aargh! im so... i dont know.

pls pray for my aunts. they are sick and had undergone an operation.

kisses.

7/12 Sunday it's best to leave while im in love.. while i still believe the meaning of the word.

2009-07-11T21:26:00.000-07:00

i should be doing my assignments now, but here i am, blogging.

we havent talked for a while, except a while ago when i greeted him at about 2 am. it was his birthday yesterday.

my dad was playing some songs of regine velasquez, and i happen to hear one that i think suits me best (ooh?) hehe. it is entitled 'id rather leave while im in love'. it is a revival, ive found out just now.

yesterday, after mass we ate at mcdo then watched hannah montah the movie!! it appears that the movie was cut on some parts, just like what we suspect happened on twilight. aww!! it was just so unfair. the movie was good, but i wasnt satisfied. i wanna watch the whole movie, the complete one!

im enjoying D's company. hehe! he is so makulit! lol
my friend W and E are getting along well. im happy for both of them. hahaha!! im teasing W about it. she doesnt have a crush on E, but i just observed that when E and i are seatmates, he doesnt get along that well with me. when they are together (ohh what a word!lol) they seem so happy together and they seem to enjoy each others' company. just thinking about them and the look on their faces make me smile. :)

7/8

2009-07-08T04:07:00.000-07:00

today he shocked me!

next time i would really sign in with my other account so that we wont talk anymore. you know my friend W dared me not to talk to him 'til forever (til the end of time!) i was just thinking about not talking to him anymore and gosh it made me so sad. but one thing i should learn in this life is letting go.

at this very moment i will start moving on with my life - without him. it is too bad that all the good times we have shared will be put to waste. i am turning over a new leaf now.

here are the things that i would least likely do starting tomorrow:
1. talk to him
2. buy chuckie, my fave chocolate drink besides milo
3. share Q's food
4. smile a lot (how can i when a while ago just thinking about not talking disheartened me??)

so sad. i have this feeling that A needs someone to talk to. he said someone hates him. one shouldnt force his belief to others. respect the opinion of others as u would want them to respect yours.

i was assigned with the word of the day today. i picked the word 'cognomen' (kog no' muhn; the o has a bar on top, meaning it is a long o as in the word open) which means ' a family name or a nickname'.

i have learned just now that chagrin means disappointment. i thought it means sad.

our report went well. i think my other classmates found my panicking amusing a while ago. LOL the only thing that i didnt like was that not everybody in our group was given a chance to report. we just bought the materials and wrote the Q's and A's on it. i made my classmate H write mine. our so-called leader a while ago made me feel.. uhm i cant think of the appropriate word.. hmm basta it was a negative feeling. it was as if he didnt think i can deliver the report as well as the other reporters could. what am i, asinine aka dumb (LOL how many word/s of the day have i used already?) waah! i really hated him so much then. and W. gosh! ive read and studied the chapter well and he didnt give me the work intended for W when i asked him that i would just take W's place since she was working on my Q&A. he gave also gave someone the task to discuss slash report the chapter and in my opinion, that someone didnt know the chapter well since that someone referred to the book for nth time during the discussion! how i pity myself.

7/7

2009-07-07T05:55:00.000-07:00

-busy-
helping my groupmates in filipino prepare for tomorrow's report slash play about chapter 4 on El Filibusterismo by Dr. Jose Rizal.

so sad. we didnt talk today. what if the feeling is mutual? what if he was discouraged because he thinks i am in love with someone else? there will always be a possibility, even if it is only 0.000001 still there is a chance... right?

7/6 (again)

2009-07-06T03:30:00.000-07:00

i think my two best buds and i annoyed my teacher a while ago. we have been working for some time now for our Investigatory Project (IP) but we havent had decided yet what our topic will be!

we have lots of ideas but there seem to have a problem on each of them.
1. rose as a siomai wrapper
2. malunggay as a milk substitute
3. chair out of egg shells
4. an alternative seasoning without monosodium glutamate (MSG)

ahh!!! and lots!

Q and i decided to have a photoshoot this coming weekend for a scrap book. yay! we will include W of course! and we would like to have our other best friend S to join us, but we dont think it would be possible :(

7/6

2009-07-06T03:09:00.000-07:00

last night, we talked.

i feel so pathetic!!! i even saved our convo because i was signed in on a different messenger (which doesnt save conversations of you and of your chatmate). i dont wanna feel the way im feeling for him. im the kind of girl who wants her feelings to someone known (especially when im angry with a person), and now i dont know what to do because i dont have the guts to tell A that i have feeling for him (oh yeah, A is a guy)! im an honest little girl. i dont want things to be hidden from somebody, but i cant tell him!!! ohh, u know what im talking about? u know what my dilemma is?

i dont wanna be in this situation! i dont want to long for something or for someone that i know i cant have.

last night i found a quote that i think is applicable to me:
When you love someone, you can tell. When you are IN LOVE with someone, everybody else can tell.

waahh!! my sister made me realize that i have feelings for him.. im not sure if im in love with him. this might only be an infautation you know. one of my best bud agreed with her (that im IN LOVE! what a big word!)

how can i erase this feeling im feeling if we are always talking with each other? can someone give me advice please?

7/5

2009-07-04T18:20:00.000-07:00

my day is just starting..

my cousin went to our house and brought with her my other cousin.hehe!! shes such a darling!

im bored to death. my sis is watching Gossip Girl and im hating her for that. hehe! im currently listening to the song Since You've Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson. I was talking to A then A said brb then A said A's back now.i dont wanna use a pronoun for A. readers will have to guess if A is a girl or a guy. clever eh??

7/4

2009-07-04T05:16:00.000-07:00

was so tired!
had classes though it is saturday. walked with a couple of best friends (Q and W) and played with Q's dogs. met two fishermen, one of whom gave us the fish that we need in our experiment, the other one saw a large snake in the water!

i feel so depressed. W noticed that everyday i complain of problems and is always lonely. i said my day is not complete without encountering problems and without feeling angry and lonely. hehe! ive decided to be indifferent to the problems and negative emotion (blase is the word i think). i think im annoying her.

Q's bro teased me! hmm. that gave me an idea for my next story.

7/3

2009-07-03T05:00:00.000-07:00

so tired today! the weather was unusually hot - humid as my friend said.

i continued working on the story i am making for my friend. hmm.. i was so depressed a while ago, chagrin i think. i think A is upset with me. why doesnt A talk to me? that is why i came up with an online diary -- so i wouldnt be too depressed. my teacher said that we should release our feeling, especially the negative ones. it is bad to contain in ourselves.. it is heavy in the heart. i might go crazy hehe! or crazier i should say.

7/2/09

2009-07-02T04:42:00.000-07:00

first blog!
hmm im longing for an online diary i guess.

today we all had fun during English. we had a presentation. we were made to sing a song haha! i didnt sing! i acted out the song with a partner. i was forced to recite in Economics a while ago (first recitation in the said subject this year!)

hope to view blogs of another people.